An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of March, 2019.
March 15, 2019 (comments)
Der Bundesnachrichtendienst begins to persecute NSA collaborators. Hackernews tries to bikeshed the proposed legislation, but keeps bouncing off of Google's terrible translation services. Unable to push through the problem, Hackernews instead decides to attack the act of legislation itself. A large subthread's discussion ranges the gamut from "only programmers should be trusted to write laws" to "only programs should be trusted to drive cars."
March 16, 2019 (comments)
Some investors pay too much for an operating system. Hackernews bikesheds the headline, pausing to express surprise that any software they do not personally use seems to continue existing regardless. Later, an argument breaks out about the relative merits of package managers.
March 17, 2019 (comments)
A webshit buys a computer. Hackernews angrily lists all the ways the computer is not like a Macbook.
March 18, 2019 (comments)
Hackernews deigns to notice one (1) victim who died in a mass murder, because that specific person provably interacted with computers a lot. Hackernews are very clear about not supporting murder, but kindly take the time to explain to one another why some murders are more regrettable than others.
March 19, 2019 (comments)
Mozilla introduces a new release of Firefox, which removes some online annoyances (presumably by moving them all to the New Tab page). Hackernews is enthusiastic about the possibility that the web browser will stop moving shit around as it loads images. Sadly, the browser in question still differs slightly from Chrome in several bizarrely-specific user interface decisions, and so Hackernews will only use it on Android devices, since it's the only way to get ad blocking on a device made by an advertising agency.
March 20, 2019 (comments)
An academic turns to computers in a never-ending quest to make learning harder than it needs to be. Naturally, computers are up to the task. Hackernews disapproves of the approach in the article, because it requires the operator to understand the tools in use. A few Hackernews have created similar grotesqueries from alternative programs, and proceed to list them in great detail, to the edification of no one.
March 21, 2019 (comments)
Facebook does whatever the fuck it wants, and some blogger thinks anyone cares. Hackernews has strong opinions about the technology and policy choices inside Facebook that led to this situation, but spend most of the time inventing the failure state from first principles, miraculously concluding the error must be whatever a given Hackernews fucked up during early-career shenanigans. Half of the comments debate whether it's worth bothering trying to keep track of your own code; since nothing can be perfect, we're all better off abdicating any responsibility. That way nobody gets to be surprised when we don't even try.