An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the last week of December, 2020.
December 22, 2020 (comments)
December 23, 2020 (comments)
Some asshole with a Wordpress account has arrived to enlighten us via numbered list. Hackernews loves the bumper-sticker model of personal development, and pastes quotes from the Wordpress site for each other to read. No technology is discussed.
December 24, 2020 (comments)
A programming language gets slightly faster to run and remains moderately unreadable. Hackernews gets paid to type in this language, so they obviously care about the release of a new version, but there is nothing interesting in the release, so they wax poetic about the meaning and impact this Perl knockoff has had on their lives.
December 25, 2020 (comments)
Anyone finally makes a decent computer monitor. Contrary to the Reddit headline, nothing is "released"; we are instead treated to a propaganda film featuring a product we may not have. Hackernews, as usual, has to explain how e-ink works, suss out what differentiates it from other display mechanisms, and reprosecute the concept of patent law.
December 26, 2020 (comments)
The State of California, continuing its war against its own users, uncovers a traitor in its ranks. Hackernews complains about punctuation marks in email messages and then declares that nothing will ever improve until Republicans control the Californian government. The rest of the comments are either other Hackernews asking how that would be any different or spitballing legislative changes that might enable this.
December 27, 2020 (comments)
Some computer nerds fondle each other in public. Hackernews thinks it's about time people expressed thankfulness for the endless wave of overcomplicated shit they write to ease the deployment and use of the endless wave of shit they wrote.
December 28, 2020 (comments)
An asshole takes four thousand words to say "because hipster pasta is a pain to make and one of the suppliers got in trouble for not meeting federal food standards." Hackernews regards this completely uninteresting chain of events to be evidence of the abject and ultimate failure of the government of the United States of America. To finish the evening, Hackernews gets mad that different countries have different safety standards, and decides that "protectionism" is to blame.
December 29, 2020 (comments)
Boston Dynamics posts more home videos of their pets. Hackernews is sad they can't afford similar pets.
December 30, 2020 (comments)
An actual professional news organization reports that people who don't work as much have time to do more things outside of work. Hackernews tries to decide how to find the right balance between getting paid and being happy. As usual, some assholes who can't tell the difference show up to complain about people who can.
December 31, 2020 (comments)
An Internet summarizes the obvious. Several Hackernews consider Dunning-Krugerrand to be an essential technology. Coincidentally, all of the Hackernews who feel that way are from failed states. The rest of the positive opinions come from Hackernews who were trying to buy garbage from other countries without actually owning any of that country's currency, a problem whose solution is clearly worth devoting the energy resources of a small European nation.
Better luck next year.