pointless didactic whining from the editor (2017/08/22)

We approach the one-year anniversary of Webshit Weekly. As you prepare your celebrations, please keep the following in mind:

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Happy anniversary, whoever the hell you are.

webshit weekly (2017/08/21)

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of August, 2017.

Ask a Female Engineer: Thoughts on the Google Memo
August 15, 2017 (comments)
The High Priests of Hackernews weigh in on sexism. Hackernews weighs in on several related topics; this trainwreck of a peanut gallery includes deep thoughts like "incoherent ranting should have a place at the table" and "everyone but me is misunderstanding this issue." No technology is discussed.

Why We Terminated Daily Stormer
August 16, 2017 (comments)
Cloudflare's CEO explains that he shitcanned some Nazis because he didn't like them, but doesn't think that's the best policy going forward. Hackernews gets into a massive screaming festival about how free speech is dead because some webshits won't host a Hitler fanclub message board.

Essential Phone, available now
August 17, 2017 (comments)
A company releases a completely unremarkable cellphone. Even Hackernews can't bring themselves to pretend to give a shit. Most of the comments are about how great the iPhone is, except for the ones about the Pope's opinion on climate change. If you would like to spend seven hundred dollars on a black rectangle that runs Android in exactly the same manner as every other black rectangle that runs Android, this is the story of the week for you.

Explaining React's license
August 18, 2017 (comments)
A Facebook makes excuses for being an asshole about software. Hackernews is furious that Facebook has better lawyers than they do, and sets about making a list of similar shitware they can use instead. Several dozen Hackernews spend some time arguing that all of Facebook's lawyers are wrong. Nobody listens. The rest of the comments are people telling each other ghost stories about patent indemnification.

Vue.js vs. React
August 19, 2017 (comments)
A webshit compares itself to other, almost identical webshit. Hackernews suddenly cares about this comparison because they got scared by yesterday's ghost stories. The comments are a cesspit of trivial minutiae of interest only to the most reality-detached webshit plumbers. If you're interested in watching six thousand interns argue about whether <button :disabled="isButtonDisabled">Button</button> is more "intuitive" than <button disabled={isButtonDisabled}>Button</button>, then this is the story of the week for you.

Ellen Pao: My lawsuit failed. Others won’t
August 20, 2017 (comments)
A bureaucrat advertises a book. The Hackernews administrators manually excluded this advertisement from their usual spam filtering. Hackernews is aghast that there are people on earth richer than Hackernews. One Hackernews points out that someone described in the story acted like an asshole; the rest of the debate focuses on whether acting like an asshole is the right thing to do. No technology is discussed.

Android Oreo
August 21, 2017 (comments)
Google shits out this week's version of its pocket surveillance platform. This release contains a big new feature, which will allow Google to patch publicly-known security problems and introduce newer, subtler security problems at an unprecedented rate of speed. Hackernews doesn't like how the emojis look. All major functionality regressions are dismissed as something only "power users" would need, and the relative dearth of supported platforms is used as an opportunity to instruct readers to send more money to Google.

webshit weekly (2017/08/14)

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the second week of August, 2017.

The Internet Archive has digitized 25,000 78rpm Gramophone records
August 08, 2017 (comments)
Some librarians librariate. Hackernews trades links to random entries and levels-up their hipster cred by learning about record players. Several Hackernews are excited for the incoming wave of techno.

uBlock Origin Maintainer on Chrome vs. Firefox WebExtensions
August 09, 2017 (comments)
An internet describes the five remaining differences between Firefox and Chrome, one of which is "Etc." (Latin, here, for "et cassum"). Hackernews explains that Firefox's superiority comes from its diverse collection of databases and indices, which work together to prevent the user from ever having to know or remember anything at all. Several Hackernews debate whether Chrome's ability to assist webshit in lying to the user is a good feature or a required feature. The rest of the comments are pissing matches about who has the most tabs open and which plugins are most useful for pretending browser vendors are not in an abusive relationship with browser users.

The world in which IPv6 was a good design
August 10, 2017 (comments)
An internet stares in the face of madness. In the course of confronting the darkness inside the IETF, our protagonist either careens into the abyss or mobilizes some weapons-grade sarcasm -- it's not possible to tell, but describing a QUIC/IP-only internet as 'elegant' is one or the other. Hackernews spends some time trying to shove the real world into the OSI model before deciding it would be simpler to go straight to reinventing internet protocols from first principles.

Ad blocking is under attack
August 11, 2017 (comments)
A shitware peddler wrings their hands about the rough treatment received by one of the projects on whom their "business" relies. Hackernews points fingers, and sets about inventing imaginary case law to back up whatever preconceived notions they arrived with. The Hackernews Committee for Misunderstanding the Law holds an emergency joint meeting with the Hackernews Committee for Bitching About Adblockers. After a lot of noise, the august assembly decides that the Declaration of Entitled Whining requires no major alterations in response to this development.

YouTube AI deletes war crimes evidence as 'extremist material'
August 12, 2017 (comments)
Google continues their long-held tradition of randomly taking shit off the internet. The latest twist is that they have advanced Tensorflow technology sufficiently that they can now blame computers for mismanagement. Hackernews tries to figure out why Google, when enforcing arbitrary and capricious termination of services, insists on being a dick about it in the process. Instead of coming to the obvious conclusion ("the user is not only beneath contempt, the user is beneath any consideration at all"), Hackernews writes fanfiction about the kind of egalitarian censorship-proof internet they'd like to have, and the imaginary incentives they would provide to bring it about. Nothing productive is said.

An Intro to Compilers
August 13, 2017 (comments)
An internet posts some Intro to Computer Science notes, complete with emojis and pointlessly hand-drawn illustrations. Hackernews posts their resumes in narrative form. The rest of the comments are whining and bikeshedding each other's whining.

I’m an Ex-Google Woman Tech Leader and I’m Sick of Our Approach to Diversity
August 14, 2017 (comments)
An internet points out that workplace diversity will be difficult to achieve until educational diversity exists. Hackernews gathers around the campfire to tell each other horror stories about the (possibly apocryphal) time someone they knew had to interview for a job outside of Silicon Valley. Grimly, they set about tone-policing each other and the original author -- the only safe choice. Some of the more daring Hackernews rise to battle to defend the most underserved and persecuted demographic throughout human history: themselves.