webshit weekly (2021/07/31)
An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the last week of July, 2021.
July 22, 2021 (comments)
Some Internets decide that the missing piece from whitebox laptop offerings is bespoke usb modules. Hackernews is convinced the ability to exchange a USB port for a slightly different USB port is the quantum leap in personal computing for which the world has been waiting. The rest of the comments are feature requests nobody wants.
July 23, 2021 (comments)
A pack of webshits compose a hitpiece on their competitors. Hackernews sets about to deliberately construct a Stockholm Syndrome analogue which will allow them to rationalize being locked into an abusive business relationship. Other Hackernews think the hit piece is unfair because other hyperscale cloud providers are also abusive. Whether or not this is acceptable for a given provider seems to depend on how long a particular Hackernews worked for that provider.
July 24, 2021 (comments)
Canonical (business model: "Uber for Debian") continues its search for a source of actual revenue. Hackernews is interested in the MacGuffin, but not the actual target of the marketing blog. Better luck next time, Ubuntu!
July 25, 2021 (comments)
Bicycling enthusiasts try to figure out why someone without even a Serfas sponsorship has managed to win. Hackernews knows it was because the professional collusion tools failed the old guard, creating an opening for someone to win based on actual physical exertion. One Hackernews is mad that women are allowed to ride bicycles, but it's not clear if the anger is about the competitive aspect or that a woman has a bicycle at all.
July 26, 2021 (comments)
Edward Snowden would like everyone to recognize that nothing has got better since diming out the NSA, either for Edward Snowden in particular or anyone else in general. Hackernews warns us that Snowden's unhinged ideas, such as holding people and companies responsible for the products they sell, would immediately lead to the complete and immediate collapse of the First Amendment. Other Hackernews misinterpret this warning as a directive to get angry about the C programming language.
July 27, 2021 (comments)
Some web programmers go into debt in the pursuit of a more perfect chat app. Hackernews thinks the big difference that will make this chat app win over the six million nearly-identical chat apps is their approach to copyright licensing. Other Hackernews think the lone thing preventing the chat app from global market domination is some CSS.
July 28, 2021 (comments)
Google, the world's largest repository of algorithmic search expertise, gets trick-fucked by blogspammers and doesn't notice because nobody at Google both speaks Norwegian and gives a shit about search results. Hackernews is overrun by Nordic commentors decrying their universal inability to get Google to lift a single finger to help anyone, anywhere.
July 29, 2021 (comments)
An Internet interviews the developer of the second-largest text-based adventure game (behind Linux). Hackernews recounts every experience they've ever had with the game.
July 30, 2021 (comments)
A person who was famous is angry that continued fame is at someone else's discretion. Hackernews recognizes the name from the original controversy and now wrestles with the idea that other people are allowed to make art about actual events even if that art doesn't reflect the actual series of events which occurred. No technology is discussed.
July 31, 2021 (comments)
A webshit is mad at a peer-reviewed paper for impugning a favored algorithm. Instead of just writing a letter to the journal pointing out the problems, or even citing the actual goddamn paper, the chosen solution is to whine a lot in a blog post and conclude that science is flawed. Hackernews splits attention evenly between the claims made in the blog post and ranting about how 'academics' aren't as good at programming as, say, Hackernews.
webshit weekly (2021/07/21)
An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of July, 2021.
July 15, 2021 (comments)
July 16, 2021 (comments)
A Hackernews submits Google's support documentation as something to bitch about. The scare quotes around "misleading content" signify that the submitter considers permission to lie to you to be more important than living in a functioning society. Hackernews are libertarians until corporate policy conflicts with their immediate goals, at which time they fervently support nationalizing, you know, whatever is inconveniencing them. The "Hacker" "News" moderator steps in a couple times to remind people not to be impolite to shitposters.
July 17, 2021 (comments)
Some Internets like video games, but not enough to run them in the correct operating system. Hackernews is unfamiliar with virtualization technology that isn't subject to Amazon Web Services billing practices, and the resulting comment threads constitute several requests for features that have been reliable and mature for years, and are univerally inferior to just running the supported configuration.
July 18, 2021 (comments)
Hackernews chews on some propaganda, which is focused on the misapprehension that anyone in the United States justice system gives a fuck what Sigurdur Ingi Thordarson has to say about anything. Hackernews is mostly convinced that there's a sinister global conspiracy to silence a brave hero who did nothing at all to anyone except encourage an emotionally unstable foreign intelligence operative to commit treason for his own personal gain. As this behavior remains illegal, the United States remains interested in discouraging it.
July 19, 2021 (comments)
Hackernews gleefully converges on an opinion article from a respected medical publisher which gives them an excuse to disregard medical research journals. The comments focus on all the times that scientists did something to piss off Hackernews, to which experiences the only resonable response appears to be utterly discounting all formal research which is not directly funded by Google or SpaceX. Hackernews declares that medical research is mired in a sea of distractions from financiers and overhyped fads, which doesn't affect the crucial cryptocurrency and machine learning research coming out of the computer science fields.
July 20, 2021 (comments)
A business fights another business about copyright violations. Hackernews copyright cultists are excited about it.
July 21, 2021 (comments)
An Internet doesn't like some of the currently popular job control software. Hackernews does, for the most part, and the ones who don't can't really imagine any other approaches. As a result, most of the comments are discussions about which AWS services should be replaced with which other AWS services.
webshit weekly (2021/07/14)
An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the second week of July, 2021.
July 08, 2021 (comments)
Another Internet is still mad about Microsoft's code randomizer. Hackernews is by now so bored with this story that they begin speculating on the nature of artificial intelligence, moving on to questioning the concept of intelligence itself, and whining that massive corporations have more access to resources than they do. Later, Hackernews starts bitching about Hackernews' own response to the story they're tired of.
July 09, 2021 (comments)
An Internet rats on a bunch of fraudsters. Hackernews is glad their particular brand of slime is developing a long and storied tradition, and exchanges anecdotes about other dirtbags they've nearly worked for, or been.
July 10, 2021 (comments)
Hackernews is still mad about the European Union wanting to see our emojis, so they dig up an old story about the European Union being dicks about something unrelated. Hackernews, having completely forgotten the pearl-clutching and well-I-nevering they were just doing about Microsoft trampling over their copyright licensing, is absolutely fucking furious about the various media industries' attempts to protect their copyrighted data.
July 11, 2021 (comments)
An Internet got hassled by the cops for a while. Hackernews is divided: there are those who enjoy a good Streisand Effect story, and those who are outraged that someone would contradict the will of Apple Computer, to include comparing the author to a murderer of children. The rest of the comments are the Hackernews Mock Trial Club incorrecting one another about irrelevant laws.
July 12, 2021 (comments)
A Tesla (business model: "Uber for Yugo") owner has the temerity to allow a car to be repaired with parts that did not come from Tesla. Hackernews sneers at the idea that someone who leases a car should be allowed to dictate the terms of its repair. Several hundred comments constitute a half-assed and hazily-understood engineering analysis of the repair in question, and the rest constitute a series of increasingly complicated misinterpretation of contract law.
July 13, 2021 (comments)
Hackernews reads a four-year-old Reddit thread, then bitches about user interfaces, many of which other Hackernews wrote.
July 14, 2021 (comments)
An Internet reports Rule One. In this case, unfortunately, Rule One is applied to boring nonsense, but it's still effective. Hackernews has had brief run-ins with Rule One, but prefers instead to trade recommendations of airport bookstore fodder. Later, Hackernews argues about vegetable recipes.