An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the first week of April, 2020.
April 01, 2020 (comments)
A Python goes on at length to explain the presence of a configuration file. The presence of the file is explained as a necessary and healthy reaction to Python's disgusting habit of shitting all over the environment, making undeclared assumptions about the computers it runs on, and the intents of the people who deign to interact with Python's gross CPAN knockoff. Hackernews bemoans Python's "sovereign city-states in detente" approach to keeping its shit together, and each Hackernews expresses the foundational nature of whatever shitty build tool they espouse, patiently explaining to one another that their disparate habits constitute natural laws, necessitating the canonization of the resulting trash moussaka. Meanwhile, the Python packaging bureaucrats organize a crowdfunding effort, under the assumption that all these problems can be fixed with money, since money is cheaper than self-discipline.
April 01, 2020 (comments)
Hackernews figures out who wrote the webcam-fuckery software they've been looking for. Posting a link on "Hacker" "News" to a software package devoted entirely to getting people to pay attention to the user is chumming some profoundly shark-infested waters. Every single producer of every single boring-ass webinar about mindfulness shows up to give practical advice regarding the optimal audio processing methodology to deliver the most value to all three of the viewers who do not have Chaturbate open in another window. One of the authors shows up to report that people are using the software. A quarter of the comments comprise a discussion of how Wayland may be able to use this software better once it matures, Real Soon Now.
April 02, 2020 (comments)
April 03, 2020 (comments)
Some academics morosely sound the same alarm about a new bad program, alluding to espionage-flavored ties to the worst government on the face of the planet. Somehow, they manage to completely elide whether any of their research applies to the FedRAMP-moderate classified "Zoom for Government" platform, or just the half-assed implementation distributed to the plebes. Better investigators have already shone light upon the horrible failures of the company in question, so Hackernews links to those, then links to various open-source alternatives that do not work, does a moderate amount of hand-wringing, and closes the tab because it's time for their performance-review/scrum/happy-hour/layoff-notification on Zoom.
April 04, 2020 (comments)
An academic explains why doctoral degrees in actual sciences are difficult to acquire, and goes on to extrapolate the difficulty of applying the resulting work. Hackernews has nothing to contribute except an epistle to themselves declaring the majesty of the human body. Other Hackernews are not impressed, and get distracted bashing Wikipedia for not giving them the knowledge easier. The rest of the comments are Hackernews incorrecting each other's programming analogies.
April 05, 2020 (comments)
An internet shaves yaks out loud. Hackernews bikesheds the yak shaving. The author shows up to help. No technology is discussed.
April 06, 2020 (comments)
Y Combinator's absentee father pontificates, completely devoid of any appropriate sense of irony, and utterly without a shred of self-awareness, on the topic of not listening to people who are wrong a lot. The post's pedigree garners a scad of upvotes, but the real motive for Hackernews is getting daddy's attention, so there are even more comments than vote points on the article. Hackernews jockeys for primacy in the meaningless arguments that erupt, apostates are ostracized, and nearly a thousand comments scroll past, but dad never shows up to tell them they are loved.
April 07, 2020 (comments)
Apple contributes to the fight against COVID-19 by producing a form of personal protection equipment ostensibly targeted toward visual effects crewmembers who work for Lucio Fulci. More effort is put into the instructional animations than the product itself. Hackernews wants one, but since they're not for sale, they decide to argue about one another's third-hand-heresy-based experience in the medical wards. Technology is discussed, but not very well.