webshit weekly

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the last week of June, 2018.

Supreme Court Rules Police Need Warrant to Track Your Cellphone
June 22, 2018 (comments)
The United States legislative branch decrees that the one-time must ask permission to use other people's surveillance networks. Hackernews marvels at the rank inefficiency of the spying tools used by 20th-century law enforcement, but the majority of the comments focus on the nature of the Supreme Court. Scads of barely-relevant case law appear, based on which case names any given Hackernews can remember at the time the comment was typed.

Teens Who Hacked Microsoft's Xbox Empire and Went Too Far
June 23, 2018 (comments)
Some kids fuck around on the internet. Hackernews debates whether people should still be punished for crimes if they're really good at committing them.

How SQL Database Engines Work, by the Creator of SQLite (2008) [video]
June 24, 2018 (comments)
A programmer holds forth on programming. Hackernews doesn't like the resolution of the video clip and begs for Deckard to enhance 224 to 176. Afterwards, several Hackernews argue about whether it is fundamentally crucial that all programmers know how to write a relational database management system from scratch or whether it is criminally irresponsible to acquire this knowledge unless you already work for SAP SE.

Why nobody ever wins the car at the mall
June 25, 2018 (comments)
An Internet dishes on a grift. Hackernews argues about mattress prices. No technology is discussed.

Norwegian Consumer Council report on how tech companies use dark patterns [pdf]
June 26, 2018 (comments)
Some euros assert that technology companies are all out to get you. Hackernews has well-informed and comprehensive knowledge of this specific brand of trickfuckery, since they all worked on it for a living and regard it as an inescapable aspect of human society. Because most of them work at Google or Facebook, they spend the afternoon shitting on Microsoft, for daring to do with desktop-computer software the things that Google and Facebook do on the web and on cellphones.

Apple Engineers Its Own Downfall with the Macbook Pro Keyboard
June 27, 2018 (comments)
Some DIY electronics-repair people write a hit piece about a company that makes difficult-to-repair products. Hackernews can no longer ignore the fact that their favorite computer manufacturer hasn't manufactured a useful computer in several years, and spends yet another afternoon mourning the death of the person who made the trains run on time. In the end, the consensus is that they'll only spend a few thousand more dollars on this shit, and if it doesn't get better, they'll go buy Macbook clones from Dell instead.

Amazon buys PillPack, an online pharmacy, for just under $1B
June 28, 2018 (comments)
Bezos bids big on a benzo broker. Some suspect certain stock slumps seem silly. Most mull mailorder medicine; might marketers mete out mimics? Hackernews hates has-been hucksters -- hails heros helping haul healthcare.

Apple is rebuilding Maps from the ground up
June 29, 2018 (comments)
Over half a decade later, Apple addresses the fact that its mapping software is garbage. Apple doesn't have any fixes or even improvements to release; they're just addressing it. Hackernews is deeply concerned that Apple is getting into a fistfight with Google instead of whoever designed their keyboard. One Hackernews is mad that "Asia" is regarded as a geographic cue instead of a restaurant search.

Why you should not use Google Cloud
June 30, 2018 (comments)
A dipshit spends a paragraph describing how important a task is, describes dumping the whole operation into Google's lap, then gets mad when the house of cards can't stand up to a gentle breeze. Hackernews agrees with the outrage, and trades horror stories of when the bad company didn't hold their hands when they were scared. The rest of the comments are an argument about whether an advertising agency, a retail store, or an office software company is the best organization to trust with your entire business.

x