webshit weekly
An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of March, 2018.
EU wants to require platforms to filter uploaded content, including code
March 15, 2018
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Some webshits are angry that someone wants them to do extra work. Hackernews is furious at the idea that anyone but a Silicon Valley millionaire dares to have opinions about computers. Hundreds of comments appear in a thread about the dangers of software automation, but only when that automation affects Youtube. Dozens more Hackernews weep openly about how easily they could become the next Google if it weren't for these pesky laws getting in their way.
China to bar people with bad 'social credit' from planes, trains
March 16, 2018
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It turns out that fascist dictatorships can be inconvient for non-dictators. Hackernews erupts into pointless bickering about the implementation details of systemic oppression. Chinese operatives arrive to reassure everyone that everything is fine, and anyone who doesn't like this week's upgrades to Chinese law is clearly a racist, because America is a hundred times worse, and there are no Chinese people in America.
Repair cafés waging war on throwaway culture
March 17, 2018
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A newspaper notices that some people fix broken things. Hackernews complains that the customers don't buy expensive enough shit and have opinions about things. Other Hackernews think that buying expensive shit is a bad idea, but everyone agrees that nobody except Hackernews should have opinions. The rest of the comments are Hackernews arguing about whether economics drives culture or culture drives economics, whether the two are unrelated, and how Hackernews would construct either from first principles.
“Pinterest needs to be removed from Google IMO”
March 18, 2018
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A Reddit doesn't like a website. Hackernews doesn't like it either. Google does not notice.
Self-driving Uber car kills Arizona woman crossing street
March 19, 2018
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Uber A/B tests vehicular manslaughter. Hackernews argues about the exact speed they think would have allowed the victim to live with horrific injuries instead of actually dying, then decide they would have killed that stranger too and the press is just overreacting because the car was being driven by a computer. Soon enough, says Hackernews, a robotic jitney cab will be able to slaughter people at random and nobody will notice or demand accountability. Until that day comes, Hackernews decides to argue about exactly how much safer we'd all be if nobody ever did anything without a computer's permission ever again.
Blocklist Facebook domains (2016)
March 20, 2018
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An internet posts a tiny subset of Facebook's domain names. Hackernews produces an avalanche of software designed to prevent your computer from communicating with Facebook, and then argues about the technical minutiae involved with the task. Once that's done, they take up the question of whether working for an ad agency built around monetizing the secrets of a third of the world's population constitutes any possible ethical hazards. The usual chorus strikes up to sing about how Hackernews would stop using Facebook if they could, but it's just not possible for human life to proceed without it.
Zuckerberg on Cambridge Analytica situation
March 21, 2018
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Facebook, in response to the news that someone misused Facebook users' data, decides to fix the problem by introducing additional paperwork. Hackernews isn't really convinced anyone did anything wrong to start with, and is sufficiently bored by the topic that they decide to rant about Obama instead. Another set of Hackernews huddle up to try inventing a system that would allow webshits to swim around in people's personal information in a manner less likely to attract media attention. The usual chorus strikes up about how nobody is forced to use Facebook and all the idiots who log in deserve whatever they get.