An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of December, 2017.
December 15, 2017 (comments)
Mozilla continues the war against its own users. Hackernews is furious that Mozilla would have the bad judgment to shove pointless code into a web browser: something that Google would never, ever do. Battle lines are drawn between those who think that TV show promotions are the natural mission of web browsers and those who think that browsers should get back to basics like reporting every possible scrap of user data directly to Google.
December 16, 2017 (comments)
An Internet is mad about yesterday's news, but mistakenly thinks Mozilla's reckless disregard for sanity is a recent development, instead of something inherited from Netscape. Some Mozillas arrive to defend their idiocy. Confusion dominates the comment threads as many Hackernews struggle with the idea of a computer being anything other than a device that displays advertisements from tech companies. The Mozillas are unable or unwilling to understand why Pocket, Cliqz, and now this crap would anger anyone. Finally, one Hackernews realizes that web browsers are sufficiently complex that nothing short of a major corporation can sustain their development. Other Hackernews rush in with warm milk and survival blankets to reassure everyone that this is for the best.
December 17, 2017 (comments)
A Reddit can't figure out why a car makes a neighbor's alarm go off. Reddit spends a while making shit up and then utterly forgets it ever happened. Hackernews uses this opportunity to tell each other campfire stories about computers fucking up.
December 18, 2017 (comments)
An Internet copes with bad software. Hackernews decides this is a user interface problem instead of a fundamental design flaw. Other Hackernews decide the best course of action is to let someone else do everything. Several million arcane software invocations are advocated, but everyone agrees that any program with this many command-line arguments available must be really high-quality.
December 19, 2017 (comments)
An Internet is super impressed that Google clutters its maps with pictures of buildings, even in places where it can't get the roads right. Google's mapping products, most recently in the news for sending people directly into an oncoming inferno, are heralded by Hackernews as the best of all time. Some Hackernews suggest that maybe service could be better where they live, in Lower Fuckistan, but their suggestions bounce off the Silicon Valley bubble and scatter into the wind. One Hackernews predicts that something will come out of a race in pole position. The rest of the comments are devoted to respectful worship of Google programmers, and whispered speculation about how these wizards cast their spells.
December 20, 2017 (comments)
Yet another company wants to make money selling nerd goggles. Hackernews is mad that the nerd goggles don't work with spreadsheets.
December 21, 2017 (comments)
A webshit is upset that nobody cares about non-Chrome browsers. Hackernews agrees that the web is not perfect, but they firmly believe that perfection can only be achieved when everyone in the world uses Chrome and accesses nothing but Google services. Hackernews mocks the author's usage of web browsers that Google did not deliver from the mountaintops. Everyone agrees the first step is convincing Apple to let them run Chrome on iPhones.