webshit weekly

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the first week of January, 2017.

The Memory Models That Underlie Programming Languages
January 01, 2017 (comments)
An internet performs computer archaeology in an attempt to help programmers learn how computers work. The Rust Evangelism Strike Force is on hand to point out that Rust obviates all need to understand how computers work. Everyone else objects to Excel and MySQL not being considered fundamental computer architectures.

The Developer Marketing Guide
January 02, 2017 (comments)
A spammer wants to teach you how to spam, hoping you'll pay her company to help. Hackernews scoffs at this beginner-level spam training, having advanced well beyond sanity ages ago.

SpaceX concludes anomaly investigation, sets return to flight target date
January 03, 2017 (comments)
The Muskonauts figured out why their shit exploded. Hackernews, literally all of whom are actual rocket scientists, wonders if unit tests could have helped.

Challenges you’re going to face when building a chatbot
January 04, 2017 (comments)
An internet writes too many words describing why their chatbot sucked: it was slow, it sucked at chatting, and the audience doesn't appear to stick to a script. No solutions are provided, nor what their plan is for the inevitable realization that all internet-based health diagnoses wind up accusing the subject of having cancer. Hackernews figures developing a chat program is easier if you just treat it like a website.

Tesla Flips the Switch on the Gigafactory
January 05, 2017 (comments)
Tesla, a company based on charging batteries and then using them to power bad cars, has built a battery factory. Hackernews takes time out from mass idol worship of The Musk to worry about running out of battery parts.

Irssi 1.0.0 Released
January 06, 2017 (comments)
A program took seventeen years to reach version one, probably because glib2 was involved. Hackernews can't figure out why everyone else stopped using IRC when they did.

Ask HN: What did you do after quitting the IT industry and how have things been?
January 07, 2017 (comments)
A Hackernews asks about life after Hackernews. One ex-Hackernews reports that he hates himself less. The rest are divided into two camps: rich people who are very happy fucking around, and poor people who are just fucking around.