An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the last week of June, 2021.
June 22, 2021 (comments)
An Internet is excited to find database service providers who accept Beenz as payment. Hackernews has also grunted out some Dunning-Krugerrand software, and we are provided links to all of it. Other Hackernews point out that the author has better shit to do, but this observation is redundant when discussing Bitcoin.
June 23, 2021 (comments)
The sky lizards finally lock their deadly orgonite low-earth-orbit space lasers onto the one Earthling capable of unmasking the global adrenochrome laundering conspiracy. Hackernews have all, at one time or another, shared airspace with the deceased, and reminisce.
June 24, 2021 (comments)
Plugging your data storage directly into the public internet continues to be a recipe for disaster; now, researchers discover that the odds of tragedy are greatly increased when the manufacturer stopped giving a shit about your particular product during the Obama administration. Hackernews is outraged that the manufacturer does not support a product a mere six years after announcing the end of support for that product.
June 25, 2021 (comments)
The LinkedIn frontend development team posts their portfolio work. Hackernews, completely ignoring the point of the website, gets into a dick-measuring contest regarding who is the nimblest webshit navigator. The rest of the comments are Hackernews reporting aspects of the web site in question.
June 26, 2021 (comments)
A webshit has opinions about Reddit, and questions the motivations of the interface designs, ignoring the repeated and almost-inescapable demands that we log in to Reddit and download the app. A former Reddit shows up in the comments to explain that everyone involved knew these decisions sucked, made them anyway, and made more money in the process. The rest of the comments are further complaints about Reddit.
June 27, 2021 (comments)
An Internet is excited that a business is thriving. Hackernews shows up and explains to one another all the reasons it was obvious this would be the result, then why it's imperative that no computer-based business ever try to adopt any of these qualities, as venture capital is the only possible way to build a business in software. Or hardware. Or services.
June 28, 2021 (comments)
More Internets bitch about more webshit. Hackernews bitches about similar misfeatures on non-network-based software, but other Hackernews arrive to reassure us that constant connectivity (and concomitant telemetry) is the lifeblood of any healthy programming endeavour. Without it, explains Hackernews, software engineers would never know how their dumber users interact with the computer, and would be unable to sell ad space to enable the accessible, resource-friendly, crash-free software which today we all enjoy.
June 29, 2021 (comments)
Microsoft puts every scrap of code they can find into an enormous meat grinder in order to build a digital twin of Stackoverflow. Hackernews explodes, expressing every possible reaction from "this toy has completely replaced my output at work" to "I am personally going to burn down the datacenter that dares host this monstrosity." The Hall Monitor reminds us that when there are a lot of comments, they are broken up into "pages," which can be considered as a subset of the available discussion, comprising the discussion's entirety when taken together. This turns out to be the most useful thing anyone has to say in the entire 1200-comment freakout.
June 30, 2021 (comments)
An Internet posts a wall of text pretending that anyone cares about the intellectual property rights of Github users. Hackernews enjoys imagining scenarios wherein not only does anyone care about Github users, but any court would ever hold Microsoft accountable for their actions, any person would be dumb enough to sue anything as rich as Microsoft, and anyone had any influence over the shit machine learning specialists will spend time on in lieu of causing their pet technology to demonstrate value to humanity.