An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the first week of May, 2021.
May 01, 2021 (comments)
An Internet gets crushed in the cogs of Google's attention juicer. Hackernews is beginning to accept that Google is the enemy of all mankind, but panics at the thought of attempting to use networked software from any other source. Later, the original video creator sees the decision reversed and declares victory over Google, thus fixing the problem for all time.
May 02, 2021 (comments)
A webshit absolutely refuses to do anything correctly. Hackernews is enthusiastic about the ingenuity required to do things the hardest possible way, and as a result you can look forward to your health insurance claims process relying on technology based on this article, starting between twelve and eighteen months from now.
May 03, 2021 (comments)
An Internet reminisces about when computers were designed to be useful to the person sitting in front of them. Hackernews remembers old computers, too, and lists them all. Coincidentally, that era was also the last time Hackernews recalls doing anything productive for anyone, and so we are treated to several stories about Hackernews being the smartest person in the room, especially if that room happens to be someone else's datacenter.
May 04, 2021 (comments)
Signal (business model: Uber for Cryptocurrency Scams) flaunts a series of advertisements which Faceook has declined to carry. Hackernews figures out pretty quickly that the ads are being blocked not because of any content, but because Signal didn't pay its advertising bill, so everyone wearily lines up according to allegiance and repeats the last sixteen internet arguments about chat programs.
May 05, 2021 (comments)
A titan has fallen. Hackernews mourns the window into other people's lives which is now closed to us, forever.
May 06, 2021 (comments)
Increasingly belligerent walking participation ribbon Paul Graham shit-talks critics, subtextually in response to getting pilloried on Twitter for declaring a web browser streaming service to be The Future. Hackernews is no longer quite as unanimous in their support for Uncle Paul's Opinion Edicts, but that subject is too taboo, so we're treated to heated proxy wars on the matter. Each Hackernews selects a strained analogy to Paul Graham's article, then bikesheds the shit out of it, only returning to the source article after combat dies down.
May 07, 2021 (comments)
Amazon continues the war against its own users. Hackernews wishes someone would do something about all the lies, and an escaped Amazon arrives in the comment section to explain why Amazon hasn't addressed the plague of fraudulent reviews: it's too hard. Hackernews then erupts into a debate over the reason it's too hard: is Amazon too poor to finance a proper content moderation team, or is it more ethically consistent to just ignore any problem that doesn't personally affect Jeff Bezos?