webshit weekly

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of January, 2018.

Google Memory Loss
January 15, 2018 (comments)
An Internet is lost in the SERP e-market and can no longer search happily. Hackernews briefly explodes with a litany of complaints about Google's failure to meet their expectations in basically every market Google has entered. Fortunately, they all come to their senses and chant the standard praises unto their Lords, lest the cloud is rent asunder by the wrath of the Googly appendage.

Mozilla Files Suit Against FCC to Protect Net Neutrality
January 16, 2018 (comments)
Mozilla devotes yet more resources to things that are merely tangentially related to the only Mozilla product anyone has ever cared about. They expect their problem report to remain in NEW state in the Federal bug tracker indefinitely. Hackernews gets to armchair lawyering just in case the legal opinions of cloistered programmer drones ever become relevant. The consensus is that all of these politicians just need to study the OSI model and all these problems will go away.

Firefox’s new streaming and tiering compiler
January 17, 2018 (comments)
Mozilla posts more condescending cartoons to illustrate their new breakthrough: they can now compile code nobody writes much faster than they could before. Hackernews is staggered by this tremendous technical achievement -- to the degree that valid technical objections are derided as off-topic and heaped with scorn.

Wine 3.0 Released
January 18, 2018 (comments)
A software project posts a release announcement explaining that their arbitrary schedule caused them to drop several features on the floor. Hackernews is tremendously excited that they can now poorly run Photoshop on computers that could have run Photoshop perfectly, before Hackernews got their hands on them. Dozens of pages of technical details are posted to enable others to run expensive software in the least convenient possible manner. Some Hackernews express intent to purchase hundreds of dollars of new hardware to give this a try.

LuLu: An open-source macOS firewall that blocks unknown outgoing connections
January 19, 2018 (comments)
An Internet writes security software. To fit with Apple's overarching development recommendations, the software is trivially bypassed and jam-packed with XML. Hackernews complains that none of this class of software make it easy enough to hand control of your network over to strangers. When this gets boring they switch over to arguing about licenses for another hundred pages.

Intel Has a Big Problem
January 20, 2018 (comments)
Some journalists write alternate-history fiction about a dimension where Intel could possibly ever be held responsible for anything. Hackernews either doesn't realize it is fiction or seamlessly changes into a fanfiction forum, enumerating all of the individual market segments where Intel could (but will not) lose any significant amount of business. The rest of the comments are barely comprehensible lectures incorrecting each other about how processors work.

The city I write this in protected its name, so I am not allowed to use it
January 21, 2018 (comments)
A webshit is mad at Sarajevo's city council. Hackernews likes the pretty pictures. Other Hackernews get into the spirit of the webshit's armchair lawyering. Neither the original article or the resulting comment threads are worth even loading in a web browser, much less reading. No technology is discussed.