An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the first week of February, 2017.
February 01, 2017 (comments)
A spammer posts some bullshit, the 21st-century equivalent of motivational speaking, only with fewer ticket sales and more ebook download links. A Hackernews shark attack ensues as everyone realizes it is finally on-topic to desperately plead for any possible scrap of advice on how to actually make money. Not discussed: how to start a startup without ruining anyone else's life.
February 02, 2017 (comments)
An internet posts, in blog format, a severely-abridged glossary of high-school statistics concepts. Hackernews trades links to nearly-identical (and nearly-identically-useless) blog posts on similar topics, then everyone settles down to reassure each other math is optional when it comes to computers.
February 03, 2017 (comments)
A Hackernews begs for advice on getting anyone at all to pay attention to some shit. The answer is unanimous: spam. Not even considered: making attention-worthy shit.
February 04, 2017 (comments)
A nerd continues the ancient tradition of building things out of the side-effects of other things. Hackernews succumbs to nostalgia for the lone hardware class they ever took in college.
February 05, 2017 (comments)
Someone digs up a vintage Slate article about the Winamp company getting assimilated by then-Borg AOL. Hackernews declares that everything is different today, when it is obviously unheard of for a huge corporation to ingest an unrelated smaller company just to suck the marrow out of the brand. One Hackernews decides Winamp was the best music program because it lacked any semblance of organization for your songs.
February 06, 2017 (comments)
Some idiot thinks the world is ending because the FCC is now run by assholes. Hackernews agrees. One Hackernews is patiently waiting for Elon Musk to save him. In space.
February 07, 2017 (comments)
Based on the failures of previous skirmishes, the Rust Evangelism Strikeforce concocts a long-ass document to direct the efforts of the four Mozilla employees who actually implement this garbage. Hackernews strikes up the choir, taking breaks here and there to bemoan how hard it is to give Rust money.